Forever January

Sometimes I wish you’d get out of this place––this place here, in my head. Because I’m so scared of the silence that will ensue once you leave, the kind that reverberates off of walls and swallows rooms in darkness. The kind of silence that lets you hear your own heart beating, bringing a sense of finality to the aloneness.

But you bring music and colour. You bring that joie de vivre I’ve so long been searching for.

You make me think of the future, of more than just education and degrees and my next paycheck.

You make me think of things I said I wasn’t going to think of––never, ever again.

So please––if you ever leave this place here in my head and my life, please give me enough cottony memories to stuff into the abysses that form in your wake.

Because oh baby I’m going to miss that colour you brought to my mind.

And when I see you
I really see you upside down
But my brain knows better––
It picks you up and turns you around
Turns you around, turns you around …

If you feel discouraged
That there’s a lack of colour here,
Please don’t worry lover
It’s really bursting at the seems,
Absorbing everything
The spectrum’s A to Z …

This is fact not fiction
For the first time in years …

- Death Cab for Cutie, A Lack of Color