Forever January

Lying in bed, I draw imaginary spiderwebs across the expanse of the ceiling and walls. Light glimmers through the windows as you move beside me in your sleep. I wonder quietly in the back of my mind how many more times in our life we’ll do this — spending our free moments together to keep the loneliness at bay — and how long will our strange, platonic relationship go on.

Sometimes I miss you, though I’ll never say it to your face. You say you’re leaving, moving away. I nod and turn my head.

I hope you find happiness out there — I wish you the best. I hope the unease in your heart settles, that your demons are burned away.

I keep my scepticisms to myself. They have no place here, right now, marring the end of our days together.

I force a smile as I sit up, greeting the morning with a private aubade in my mind.